


The Past like Time

by VerdantMoth



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 07:56:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16806571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerdantMoth/pseuds/VerdantMoth
Summary: Merlin sits in the dark. He could turn a lamp on, turn the Telly on, but he doesn’t want any light. He wants to bask in the darkness. He can hear the city outside, tires squealing against the melting snow, kids and parents laughing and crying as the night ends. He can hear horns honking and restaurants spilling their occupants. Bars too. Then he can hear the key in his lock. Can hear hushed laughter, metal scraping metal. The snuck of a lighter, though really that’s probably his imagination.





	The Past like Time

Merlin sits in the dark. He could turn a lamp on, turn the Telly on, but he doesn’t want any light. He wants to bask in the darkness. He can hear the city outside, tires squealing against the melting snow, kids and parents laughing and crying as the night ends. He can hear horns honking and restaurants spilling their occupants. Bars too. Then he can hear the key in his lock. Can hear hushed laughter, metal scraping metal. The snuck of a lighter, though really that’s probably his imagination. 

The door swings open, street light spilling in with the smell of street meat, smoke, perfume from a party. Again, his imagination is working hard tonight. But the door opens and Gwaine spills in, as dapper as he’d left all those hours ago. He’s not alone; Merlin hadn’t really expected him to be. He flips the packet of Marlboros in his hand. Gwaine flicks the lights on and straightens as he sees Merlin. He kisses his companion on the cheek, whispers something is his ear, and Percival goes off towards the bathroom. 

“Didn’t expect you to be up, Merlin. Didn’t expect you to be here.” Gwaine says it carelessly. But Merlin knows him. Knows the tension held in the fingers rat-a-tat-tatting his thigh. 

“I live here,” Merlin says quietly. 

“Do you? Cause you’ve been gone a lot, lately.” Gwaine answers him like he’s afraid speaking too loud will break some sort of spell. Merlin snorts. The spells long since been broken. He chucks the pack at Gwaine. 

“These aren’t just any lads, are they?” He knows the answer. He doesn’t want to hear it. But he ask anyway. 

“Merlin, you know they’re Perce’s. You’ve known the whole time.” Gwaine pockets them, then pulls them out again to flip between his hands. “It’s not what you think, Merlin. It didn’t start the way--“ He cuts himself off. 

“Never does, does it?” 

Merlin stands up and he's not sure where to go. Their cozy little loft suddenly seems too small. 

Gwaine decides for him. “I think, Merlin, it’s for the best if you find somewhere else to stay for a while.”

Somehow that hurts more than the causal kiss, the easy admission. “This is my home too, Gwaine. Has been for more than a year.”

Gwaine rolls his eyes. “Really? ‘Cause it’s been really easy to slip things by you. You’ve slept in your office more often than not for at least three months.”

It’s true. But Merlin can’t believe Gwaine is throwing this in his face this way. He’s worked, long and hard, but Gwaine knows why. Gwaine went to the Nimueh’s with him, was fitted for the band. Gwaine also knows Merlin’s pay. Knows how much he struggles to keep up, to live Gwaine’s lifestyle. “You seemed to like what those hours did for my wardrobe, Gwaine. You seemed pleased with my fancy phone and my dark jeans.”

“Yeah, those are nice, Merlin. But they’re not exactly business casual attire. I mean, you can’t even opt for a tie?” Gwaine sighs. “Please, Merlin. I don’t want to do this tonight.”

“Then when? When would be convenient? Between the next business meeting or the next soirée of fancy names?” Merlin can’t help raising his voice.

Gwaine’s eyebrow twitches. The first real sign of his anger. “I’ve been trying to include you, Merlin! I begged you to come tonight. I picked out the shit you’re wearing, took you to my tailor. You didn’t like the straight pants, so we swapped them. You didn’t want a pocket square so we settled for a vest. I did that. All of it, for you, so you’d be comfortable!”

“No!” Merlin shouts. “You did it so you wouldn’t have to be embarrassed by your working class boyfriend and his inability to differentiate between forks.”

“I wanted you there, Merlin,” Gwaine says, and his voice has gone soft and sad. He rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted to show everyone who I loved, and you couldn’t even spend an hour with ‘my people’ as you call them? We weren’t going to make it. We are worlds apart and I don’t think we have the time to try and fit into each other’s.” 

Everything in him is vibrating, but maybe if he keeps shaking his head Gwaine won’t see the rest of him trembling. “I tried to be there. But the roads were closed and I couldn’t get a taxi. By then I was too late for the last shuttle. I bought a train ticket, but it was canceled, and then the next one was delayed by more than an hour, and then I spent the last of my money on an Uber that couldn't plow through.” He pulls out the crumpled train ticket, damp and crinkled and smeared. “I tried to get there, but the storm hit. Everything closed down. Couldn’t even get a horse-drawn carriage.” He gives a hollow laugh. 

Gwaine just shrugs. “You should’ve left work sooner. You should’ve gone with me. Hell, Merlin, maybe you should’ve walked. I don’t know. But you should’ve been there, and you weren’t, and he was. So I made a choice.” 

The clock chimes, and Gwaine stares at the numbers. “I’ll call Percival a cab. And I’ll take the couch.” 

But Merlin is already shoving past him. “No, I’ll find somewhere,” he lies. He’s no clue where he can go at this hour, but he’s sure as hell not about to stay here.


End file.
